I would like to start off this entry by letting out this unexpected excitement I’m experiencing about writing my thesis. So far, it’s been a bit tedious even though it’s a subject I’m interested in (female DJ’s in the Netherlands), because it’s mostly been about reading and writing about the stuff I’ve been reading about and how that relates to my topic. Now I finally feel I am doing something tangible. I made an Excel file of all the female DJ’s in the Netherlands, took a day to get their contact information and two nights to send them all an email, and within a day and a half I received thirteen direct replies from them that they are willing to participate and like the idea of my research! This is the first time ever that I feel like what I do academically is real, even potentially useful beyond the hands of those who will be grading my thesis. I am now on a mission—the coming weeks I will be taking trips to various cities in the Netherlands, to interview famous DJs who I usually only see on flyers or behind a DJ booth at some party if I’m lucky. I’m thrilled, motivated, and nervous. I am putting my social life on hold until the 1^st of June. I am now in full-on thesis-work-Yoga mode, so I apologise in advance if I am not informing you enough about what might be going on in Rotterdam in the coming weeks—but I promise to do my best.

All this thesis-work-Yoga talk does seem to leave out time with loved ones, but of course I will inevitably make time for it because without it I would…I would…it’s hard to finish this sentence, but let’s just say that I would feel less happy than I would otherwise, and if I don’t feel happy then I can’t give something my all, so that spending time with loved ones is a requirement for getting my stuff done as good as I can! This whole love-related stuff isn’t coming out of the blue. I am now sitting on the train back from a series of lectures at the University of Leiden about the philosophy of love. I could only go to one of them all, and it was about how many and how many types of loves we have in our lives. It really left me doubting more than I already was before I entered the lecture hall, leaving me with the feeling that I learnt something, yet at the same that my feeling of love is more meaningful than any explanations that could be given for it. Scientific reasons were covered for all types of behavior related to love: falling in love, infatuation, lust, dumping someone, motherly love, and even being in love with two people at the same time. An academic understanding of these things will not necessarily protect you from, almost uncontrollably, getting swallowed up by experiencing them and having to make sense of them yourself, following your heart rather than philosophical principles. I had naively hoped that attending the lecture would help me to get rid of some confusion. But, alas. Although it has been interesting, I choose to continue to simply experience the beauty of its fascinating mystery because that makes me happier than simplifying it to our overrated academic way of thought.